defending the caveman

i like to think i am an intelligent human being. however i constantly prove to myself that that may not be the case. exhibit a. woke up this morning after an interesting night of fun and flirtation at the neighborhood piano bar and headed the the first place i always go, the bathroom. after i did the deed i noticed a hot 'crock pot' of what looked like hand wax (you know the kind used for moistration that you dip your hands in then peel off; the peeling off is somehow so comforting and relaxing). as i tip the tips of my three middle fingers into the wax i quickly realized i was wrong. my roommate has a history in cosmetology so she jas a lot of the gadgets. this was a bowl how hair wax that had been used used earlier to wax her gxd-knows-what. as i retrated my fingers from the hot wax it stretched and pulled and began its ultimate task of total domination, i have learned that the goal of the wax, like a virus is to spread on everything thing it touches. as i began instinctively rolling the tips of my fingers together the wax left its stick on every finger on both of my hands. thsi is where the whole account should have ended. however, i look up at the mirror and notice a few hairs just hanging out between my eyebrows. its not often that i have hot hair wax at my fingertips, so i did what any selfrespecting person would do and i dipped my finger once again into the wax and rubbed it between my eyebrows and of course put alittle onto my left eyebrow. after 30 minutes i have realized that this wax does not completely dry like most hot hair waxes. i now have wax that i cant peel off on my face. i have a sold out performance of Camelot in 1 hour. i couldnt not touch the wax. i just couldnt do it.