this is halloween, this is halloween

"So I think this is the best costume for today." - Little Edie

working at a costume shop during halloween is a deep look into people's lives. you get to see who people tuly want to be. for the purpose of this post i have narrowed people into 3 groups. sluts, nuts and realists.

people like to dress 'slutty' on halloween. the most common request is "i want to be __________, but a sexy _________" The blank being filled in with words like cop, bunny, pirate etc. i believe the ones that want to be sexy for halloween see themselves as sexy in real life. its not an excuse, its a continuance. if these sluts could could get away with being sluts everyday, they would. there is nothing wrong with showing skin; i mean we all like to look at skin, but why use the one day you have all year to be whatever you want, as an excuse to wear the same thing you would wear out to some ultra lounge on a Friday night?

nuts are the ones who want to be funny. these come in a types. my favorite are the 'beautiful' ones that would rather use this holiday as a chance to be something 'ugly' or most importantly 'funny'. a very common costume that we send out at the Shoppe is a 'furry'. its just a big animal costume. there is no shape to it, no sex appeal, its just a furry sack. but for some reason the ones that choose the shapeless sack or the most sexy to me. there is something to be said for a person that hides their shape and all they have is their personality. personalities really shine when you arent staring at a pair of tits or raging six pack. i like to consider myself a nut when it comes to halloween.

the realist are those that dont want to be funny or sexy but want to be real. authenticity is key to the realists. they want to take on a whole new persona. not one that showcases their sex appeak or personality, but one that all together changes who they are for one night. this is, in my opinion, the true spirit of halloween. we all question who we are. we all wear costumes everyday. but how wonderful it is to be someone else for a day. by simply putting on a new costume and changing your accent, we get to escape for those few hours while we sip spooky punch or walk the streets with our children knocking on strangers doors.

we choose how we represent ourselves to the world. it was my decision to wear my tight jeans and my grey fedora propped everso perfectly on the crown of my nogging to work today so i could prove to others at first glance that i am more of an artists then they may have perceived had we had a simple conversation. this is why people wear flashy t-shirts with fake diamonds and swirls of stitches on there jeans, to let you know they have money before you have a chance to see the one room studio that they hibernate in. this is why the sales person wears a precisely pressed suit to prove to his prey that what he has to offer is prestine even though his car is filled with trash and apple cores, a disorganized mess.

were we all to stand naked sans 'costume' in a row before a jury, they would have know idea how to qualify us. we all have abs, we all have tits, we all breathe and eat and shit, and it all stinks. but what we dont all have is compassion and character. my dad always told me that 'character' is who you are when no one is looking. this is what my father gave me. and when my heart breaks for everyone because i know that they have pain and faults and that they want love and they want to be good, i know that these 'costumes' we wear evertyday are forced upon us. afterall, we have to choose what we put on. so i will respect how people choose to represent themselves everyday, because I know, if they had more of a choice , they woiuld change it up a bit. at least i hope they would.

so for all you sluts and nuts on halloween, enjoy this chance to be whoever you want; after sunday its back to playing your hardest part ever; you.

damn the man

i have no idea if anyone out there is reading this blog, but i am continuing to post. in a display of true greed i joined the google adsense program. i thought why not monetize this blog? hell i can use every penny i can get these days. so i accepted the terms. then i took one look at this blog with the ads on it and it made me sick. just the thought of advertising random businesses and organizations so i can make a lousy 6 cents everytime someone clicks, goes against everything i believe. i have done my best to ignore every ad that i am forced to look at while perusing the internet and think i have managed to avoid clicking through; accept of course the recent ad that featured my face. fuck yeah i clicked on that. point is no ads.

2nd place Loser

so keep in mind i am writing this after literally 12 cockyails. i had to drink after my loss. thats right, i lost the comedy contest. and by lost i mean i got 2nd place. i feel like the dad that is overly competitive and harsh on his children when they do something mediocre but the child is myself. whoa. mind blown. i fucking love doing stand up. what did i win? i won a $50 gift card to Flappers, which I spent last night. I also won a copy of my set, which i will be posting soon. and i won 2 tickets to see tommy davidson tonight at flappers which i cant go to because I have a show.

the good part is all the people that came out to support. i forget sometimes that i do have a nice group of friends out here in los angeles. i love you guys!

new goal: make stand up full time. may as well have the goal of becoming a rocket scientist. if you dont know good stand up you should watch Louis CK, Nick Swardson and Ellen. They are my favs.

louis ck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA

ellen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZblil8YCBI&feature=related

nick swardson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=em0dXkqPMlw\

face

i kept getting emails and facebook messages from friends about the REDCAT ad i was in. i had no idea what they were talking about. finally a friend sent me a screenshot of what keeps popping up on her facebook page. since she sent me this photo, i have seen the add over 50 times while on FB. first thought is, 'i spend way too much time on facebook'; second thought is 'i don't remember giving my permission to use this photo'. this is not an indictment on REDCAT. i have since agreed to using my face as the face of the REDCAT membership campaign, but i just wonder how often things like this happen.

here kitty kitty

sad. our little kitty is gone. let him out the other morning and he never came back. i didnt realized how much i loved that cat until it was gone. in case you never heard me talk about mosby, let me share. mosby had thumbs. enough said. if thats not a special cat, i dont know what is. my roommates are convinced that he is just taking some time to himself; a dumpster holiday if you will. and i will, but i just hope thats the case. if not, there is going to be a coyote headhunt happening pretty soon. i feel guilty because i was watching him while the roommates were away, but i just let him out like they would have done. come back mosby! we miss you!

a poem

mosby was the best
yep always gave the thumbs up
no truer a cat

defending the caveman

i like to think i am an intelligent human being. however i constantly prove to myself that that may not be the case. exhibit a. woke up this morning after an interesting night of fun and flirtation at the neighborhood piano bar and headed the the first place i always go, the bathroom. after i did the deed i noticed a hot 'crock pot' of what looked like hand wax (you know the kind used for moistration that you dip your hands in then peel off; the peeling off is somehow so comforting and relaxing). as i tip the tips of my three middle fingers into the wax i quickly realized i was wrong. my roommate has a history in cosmetology so she jas a lot of the gadgets. this was a bowl how hair wax that had been used used earlier to wax her gxd-knows-what. as i retrated my fingers from the hot wax it stretched and pulled and began its ultimate task of total domination, i have learned that the goal of the wax, like a virus is to spread on everything thing it touches. as i began instinctively rolling the tips of my fingers together the wax left its stick on every finger on both of my hands. thsi is where the whole account should have ended. however, i look up at the mirror and notice a few hairs just hanging out between my eyebrows. its not often that i have hot hair wax at my fingertips, so i did what any selfrespecting person would do and i dipped my finger once again into the wax and rubbed it between my eyebrows and of course put alittle onto my left eyebrow. after 30 minutes i have realized that this wax does not completely dry like most hot hair waxes. i now have wax that i cant peel off on my face. i have a sold out performance of Camelot in 1 hour. i couldnt not touch the wax. i just couldnt do it.

Tra, la la la la, la la la la

had an audition today for a group called the Tinseltone Carolers. they put the Holly in Hollywood. Get it. Like Holly. Like the berry. They put the Holly in Hollywood. Oh thats clever. it is pretty ointense 4 part acapella harmonies. it went well enough. hope i get it. i need the holiday job.

headed off to La Mill to meet Tania. La Mill is this over priced coffee shop in Los Feliz thatis frequented by Chris Pine and Jake Gyllenhaal. big fucking deal. except when they walk by and for some reason you are speechless. i hate celebrities and the power they have over us. i go to La Mill for the coffee and Hooters for the wings.

peace

Flapper's Comedy Club

last week i won $101 dollars at the Uncle Clyde's Comedy Contest at Flappers. i spent it before i left the club. on wednesday Oct. 13 I go back with a chance to win $500. i need this money, more than i need a whole in my head. literally. no one ever needs a whole in their head, but this time i really dont. i plan on talking about how over sexualized female cougars and older gay men are. we will see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__QBXdRsDZU